July 28, 2012
Pizza #24: Daniela’s

Sometimes you like-a the sausage and sometimes you like-a the pizza and sometimes you like-a to get them together like the #pizzalist pizza a la salsaiccia I got from Daniela’s. Sometimes. 

Here we are again, back in-a Pizzatown!

Sometimes you get-a this pizza and it satisfies-a your hunger. But eat it quick because it doesn’t keep-a for very long-a. Not-a recommended for reheats, but who needs-a reheats when you have-a need for one-sitting big eats!

What’s with the spacing here, Daniela? C’mon…

Sometimes you just do-a silly voices, for-a no discernable reason, but-a hey, as my grandmama always said, different-a strokes for-a different-a folks. Haiku!

Sliced sausage sweetens

a cheesy, chomp-worthy pie.

Forgive a bland crust?


July 28, 2012
Pizza #22: Ziglioni’s Pizza Bar

If you’re a pizzalover- and I assume either you are and that’s why you’re here or you’re just stalking me*- and you appreciate a crackery crust with quality ingredients, check out #pizzalist pizza-maker Ziglioni’s Pizza Bar.

A classy box for a classy pizza.

They fancy. Oh yeah they real fancy. How fancy, you ask? So fancy my pizza wasn’t even in English. Nope, I ordered the Ai Carciofi e Tartufo Pizza which must translate to “mmmmm oh yeah nom nom nom nom nom want more” and contained mozzarella, artichoke, Pecorino Romano, truffle oil, sans sauce. Brilliant.

A slighty charred crust makes for some crunchy good eats!

Some folks disagree with a no-sauce pizza but some folks ain’t me. I love it, and Ziglioni’s did an excellent job of loading up the cheese and toppings while maintaining the integrity of its wafer-thin crust. If anything, they could have been a little less heavy handed with the truffle oil, but that’s such a #firstworldproblem that I hesitate to even mention it. Haiku time!

Shaved Pecorino,

Cheesey, artichoke pizza

No sauce for me, thanks.


*Which is fine too. I find it quite flattering when dolls are made out of my hair. 

July 28, 2012
Pizza #21: L’Allegria Restaurant

For the twenty-first pizza of #pizzalist history, I ordered the prosciutto and pineapple pizza from L’Allegria Restaurant. The prosciutto was a tasty way to up the class-factor on what would otherwise be a typical common man’s Hawaiian pie (and that extra class was needed since the rest of the night involved a group of twenty-somethings playing Truth or Dare). Also, this pizza featured maximum cheesiness which is always a plus for me.

I want to live in Pizzaland where the pizza is always rising in the distance…

I won’t be long-winded since I’m a little behind on my #pizzalist, so let me put it this way: I am sad that I have too many other pizzas to eat such that I will not be having this one again any time soon. But that doesn’t mean you can’t have it, dear pizza-loving readers, and I highly encourage you to do so.

Truth or dare pizza

Truth, this pizza is yummy.

Dare, order again!


July 3, 2012
Pizza #20: Original Pronto Pizza

Very rarely are you ever going to hear me say that you are better off NOT having pizza than even having the most pathetic $.99 shame slice*, because very rarely is that true. Well, today is one of those sad days, pizza friends. Don’t bother with #pizzalist’s Original Pronto Pizza unless you hate your stomach and want to commit suicide by pepperoni grease. 

Best Pizza in Town”, if you’re really into vomiting and heart disease.

On the one hand I was excited about this pizza as it was chock full ‘o cheese, they didn’t waste any space on unnecessary crust, and the pepperonis were speecy-spicy**. Then I picked it up and the pools of grease that had formed on top began cascading about me like a waterfall of wasted opportunity. We can put a man on the moon, people. We can make a cheesey pizza that doesn’t have to be dabbed at with a napkin like a d-bag***.

They can’t all be winners. I’m sure even in heaven there’s a crappy part of town with bad traffic.

This pizza left me feeling ill, which for most people who don’t ignore their evolutionary instincts is a sign to not eat it any more, but I’m an American, so I gave it another shot reheated the next day. Same story. Turns out death pizza doesn’t suddenly become quality over night thanks to any magical properties of my refrigerator.

Sigh. Such is life. Let my story be a warning to you, fair pizza eaters, and steer clear of the Original Pronto Pizza. Now, who’s hungry for a haiku??

Pepperoni grease

Drips, like tragic pizza tears

Sorrowful belly


*About as rarely as Lindsay Lohan successfully completes a court sentence. #topicalhumor

**For those of you who don’t speak it, that’s Italian for “kinda spicy”.

***D-bag= dabbing-bag. One whose “bag” is to “dab”.

June 13, 2012
Pizza #18: Rosa’s Pizza

I’m going to be honest with you, because you deserve that. Readers, I’m going to give it to you straight. No BS, no fancy language; heck, I’m not even convinced I will use multi-syllabic words.

In fact, I’m about to use NO multi-syllabic words to tell you about Rosa’s Pizza*. 

One of the worst oft-used box schemes out there. Where did they make this pizza, “The Max***”???

I drank some wine with friends. Scratch that. I drank a good deal of wine with friends. We sat on my roof, on a nice day, and did this. At the end of the day, we had a need for pizza to give weight to our tums. You know what I mean.

Rosa’s Pizza hit the spot. 

Some may call it “drunk food”. I just call it food.

Top marks for thick cheese and a crust of dough. Low marks for style and sauce. At times, sauce just ends up a waste of time; a thing that does not add to a pizza, a thing that just makes the bits on top not stick in place. This was one of those times. But all in all? She did the trick. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand - HAIKU!

A day in the sun,

Anchored in pepperoni.

Again, next weekend?


*Except for “Rosa’s” and “pizza”, obviously. Don’t be ridiculous**.

**And the haiku is exempt. Just want to cover my bases before one of you #pizzalisters gets all snarky barky with your syllable-counting malarky. 


June 13, 2012
Pizza #16: Abruzzi Pizza Plus

This #pizzalist pizza came from Abruzzi Pizza Plus. I almost slept through this pizza, which would have been a shame, for their “pepperoni delight” was a balm on my pizza-hungry soul.

Now if you’re like me, you hear “pepperoni delight” and you think, “Well, gosh, Hank*, that must mean it’s a pizza with a crapload of pepperoni on it. That will be a delight**!” 


Grrrl that cuisine is lookin’ fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine.

No, this is Abruzzi Pizza PLUS****, where you don’t just get a crapload of pepperoni (which is, by the way, a delight), but you also get beef, peppers, and nom nom nom nom- what were we talking about I got hungry and started eating my computer. Haiku time!

Wake up! Pizza time.

A pepperoni delight,

no longer a dream.


*You’ve met Hank, right?

**If your response to pepperoni is less positive, then according to maritime law*** Hank is obligated to fight you.

***Then again, I’m more of an expert on bird law.

****The “Plus” means extra pizza powers!

May 10, 2012
Pizza #14: New York Pizza Suprema

Abundance is the name of the game with the Supreme Special pizza offered by New York Pizza Suprema. Loaded with toppings, this was a hearty (but not too filling) cornucopia of flavors. The crust may have erred a bit on the soggy side but that is only because the ingredients were juicy and delicious.

Their box boasts the award of being on of the top ten pizzas in NYC. I’m not sure that I buy that, but I certainly won’t turn my back on eating there again. “A Fine Sliceria”? I’d even venture to say, “A Better Than Average Sliceria”. To put it plainly-

Yum yum. In my tum tum. 

And in case you ever wondered what my feet look like*.

Supreme special, CHOMP

Veggies, meats, CHOMP CHOMP

Can’t hear you, eating.


You know what they say about a pizza that needs TWO little table thingys?****


**Just kidding. Pervs make the world go ‘round!***

***How did we get talking about this again?

****HUGE box*.

April 21, 2012
Pizza #12 - Fat Sal’s Pizza

Get out your pens and papers*, pizzafans; it’s time to take notes.
You see, there’s more than one guy named Sal around these parts and more than one of those guys sells pizza**. You may recall a previous review for New York Sal’s, but that’s not who I’m going to talk about today.

No, today I’m talking about the sadogue Sal who sells savory slices with sweet sauce and spicy toppings which are sure to cast a spell of supreme satisfaction. I’m talking about Fat Sal’s Pizza.

Ultimately “Fat Sal’s” was cheaper to print than “Big-boned Sal with metabolic problems”.

There is a reason this Sal is fat, and it’s nothing a therapist can fix. Unless that therapist gets paid $250 an hour to make his pizza no good. Which would be a terrible business plan****. What I’m saying is, Fat Sal must be tapping into the inventory. I know I would if I ran such a delicious pizza empire. I mean, FIVE locations? That dude’s gotta be rollin’ in the dough*****. 

Don’t get me wrong; it’s nothing special, but that’s ok. Solid crust, solid toppings ratio, solid grease factor, solid go-to New York slice. Not the one to get if you want to impress the ladies. DEFINITELY the one to get when you’ve come home drunk and are depressed after not being able to impress any ladies******.

Special mention: solid reheat in the morning. 

The best part of wakin’ up… is pizza to cook up!

Go-to delicious

"Fat Sal", New York City pal

Trusty ‘ol slicekick.


*Or note-taking robot. 

**Never- and I mean NEVER- grab the “slices” offered by “Port Authority” Sal under the overpass on 9th Avenue. He will cut you.***

***NYC is a fun and safe place for the whole family!

****But not as bad as a business plan that utilizes frogs to serve as home delivery vessels for beans. You know, order a bag of kidney beans, they show up three, four at a time in little baskets that sit on the backs of the frogs that swarm to your home. Monkeys train the frogs where to go, obviously.

*****Which is probably against proper food handling procedure, but who knows, that could be what makes it so tasty!

******Even though you showed her some SUPER sweet photos of you at Burning Man.

April 7, 2012
Pizza #10 - Two Boots Pizzeria

So clearly I’ve reached that point where now that I’ve been doing this blogging thing for a few months it seems like just SO MUCH WORK to sit down and actually write one. This is ridiculous and will not continue. It’s rude of me to leave you unknowing of my pizza journey and for this, I deeply apologize. 

I have not stopped eating pizza by any means. In fact, now I’ve had a couple pizzas from the #pizzalist that I’m not blogging about yet because I didn’t take pictures. Really, I just look for any reason for repeat pizzas. IT’S AN ADDICTION, PEOPLE*. Back to business.

I’ve heard for years that Two Boots Pizza is delicious and fancy. In fact, they claim to have been pizza pioneers since 1987**. Well, the rumors were true. In fact, I’m awarding Two Boots the #BestCrust award thus far. This is quite an accomplishment, as I’m someone who is picky about my crusts. The majority of the time the crust is simply a vehicle for toppings, but this was a crust I looked forward to, I savored, I gently crunched in my mouth, savoring each mouth-watering doughy moment. So, there’s that.

I need to find an apartment in this beautiful pizza community. 

I love gimmicks***, so the fact that they use silly names for their interestingly-topped pizzas is of course a draw for me. My pal Rob and I enjoyed The Dude (cajun cheeseburger pie with tasso, andouille, ground beef, cheddar and mozzarella), and the Newman (sopressata and sweet Italian sausage on a white pie). Let me go ahead and spoil the ending for you- 

THEY WERE BOTH SUPER DELICIOUS. It led to a Sophie’s Choice type conundrum- which do I eat first? Which flavor do I want to finish on? How do I craft the perfect taste journey when I have two distinct yet equally delicious flavor sensations?? I WANT TO STUFF THEM BOTH IN MY MOUTH AT THE SAME TIME SO NO PIZZA FEELS LEFT OUT.

Ultimately, The Newman was my fave of the two (sucker for a white pie), but the Dude was also fantastic (and less “cheeseburgery” than you’d expect with a cheeseburger pizza, but in a good way).

The Dude abides… in my belly.

Two kinds of pizzas

Each one better than the last

This one’s best… no this!


Hello, Newman.

The Dude, The Newman

Put on your Two Boots… right, left

Walk into my mouth


Don’t leave me, pizza. Please, never leave me.

*<insert cry for help here>

**Led by their trusty guide, Pizzajawea. 

***Seriously, I will buy anything if its name is a clever pun or if it is a common household product shaped in a silly silly way. 

March 19, 2012
Pizza #9: Luigi’s Restaurant

For #pizzalist pizza number nine, Luigi’s Restaurant (917-563-3037, 304 8th Ave) presented my friend Drexel and I with a pepperoni pie last night and I’ll cut to the chase: serviceable. 

I didn’t know Verizon made pizzas! Can you taste me now?

This is the kind of pizza you want when you’ve had a couple… or a dozen. Greasy but not crazy greasy, bland-ish pepperonis, crunchy crust. It was all well and good enough, but in the end there is simply too much delicious pizza in the world to waste another trip on Luigi’s. Sorry. Deal with it, Luigi.

Angela is great

Pizza is so rubbery

Tequila is rough


Slight plastic bag taste

You are still pizza to me

Pizza to eat drunk


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